Instant Astroturfer Classics: Alex Jones Flubs, Stumbles, Drinks and Rants at Trump Inauguration (and dances with 5 Israelis… hmmm)

by Scott Creighton

“IF YOU CANT TELL, THIS IS ALL AN ACT. ITS SCHTICK. THAT’S WHY I ACT ALL CRAZY AND SHIT FLAILING MY ARMS.. ITS AN ACT… I NEED MONEY!… YOU WANT SOME BEER?”

Di$info Jone$ was feeling it at the Trump inauguration and the marches this past weekend. It was his moment to shine and shine he did.

At one instance, Di$info found himself surrounded by a massive crowd of about 20 people, so he cut loose with his trademark “bull in a commie China shop” routine. He was flexing his flabby arms, making the “crazy with AmeriLOVE” face and ad-libbing like no one else can… I tell ya he was in the zone and feeling it boys… until, tragedy struck.

opps

OOPS

Yeah, it was Donald Trump who came up with “crooked Hillary”… or so the story goes. Sometimes it’s good to have a script or at least something planned. That way you don’t fuck up and call your new neoliberal hero an idiot in front of a bunch of his supporters. Watch his face right after he says it. Watch him try to win back the crowd. It’s funny.

Does anyone remember the Dancing Israelis? You know, those 5 guys who later claimed to have been sent to record the event on 9/11 and who were seen video taping a burning tower and dancing on the top of a van? You guys remember that?

Here’s Di$info Jone$ dancing with 5 Dancing Zionists at the inauguration. You can’t make this stuff up folks. You just cant.

Here’s Di$info slurring his way through an interview with a “Jew 4 Trump” the night before. AJ is hammered. And I mean HAMMERED. But look how nice he was to this guy.

Drunk Di$info wasn’t very nice to “cupcake” though. I wonder what the difference was.

“if you want to keep pushing with your commie Chinese everything else we are going to blow you off the map. All the secret weapons arent the control you are they? blu blu blah… I had a coffee earlier”

“Our ancestors (sic) a thousand years from now on hundreds and hundreds of star systems, they’ll look back and say “these are the people that had the vision… it wont be Japan it wont be China it wont be Russia or Latin America. It’s be America. America will be seen as the launch base for the entire program.” Alex Jones.

Uh. I think the word he was drunkenly searching for was “descendants”. Our ancestors wont be around a thousand years from now since they died a thousand years ago. Just sayin.

I particularly like the part at the end where he was stumbling around waiting for the PR guy to get the hired actors ready for their “we love you” scene. Very authentic looking, if you ask me. And by “authentic” I mean too say it was “obviously staged by his publicist”

There you go. Another set of classic Di$info Jone$ moments brought to you by Trump’s head Brown Shirt, Alex Jones.He’s ready to round up the damn commies, grwwwwllll! and do God’s Will for the sake of all humanity and space and shit.

Jone$’ drunken fascist routine is available for parties and bar mitzvahs. Call 1-800-HAS-BARA and ask for Deep Throat, the Growling Ass Clown and he will be there to entertain (and INFOWAR) your kiddies on their special day! Just don’t have any GODDAMNED COMMIE PINKO leftist kiddies!

(other AJ classics)

“That’s right people. I’M AN ASTROTURFER! I’M HERE TO MAKE THE LIBERTY MOVEMENT LOOK INSANE! I TAKE VIABLE ISSUES OF REAL CONCERN AND MAKE THEM LOOK AS RIDICULOUS AS POSSIBLE… IF YOU CANT TELL, THIS IS ALL AN ACT. ITS SCHTICK. THAT’S WHY I ACT ALL CRAZY AND SHIT FLAILING MY ARMS.. ITS AN ACT… I NEED MONEY!… YOU WANT SOME BEER?”

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5 Responses

  1. I remember years ago listening to Alex Jones on the radio, and he would have on guests from the alternative left- Ed Asner, Chris Hedges, Russell Means, etc. He was more broadminded and accepting of critiques of the system from the left. But at some point, it was decided he would go hard right, and then it became the Rand Paul, etc. show.

  2. Fly me to the moon, baby. Wondering if they’re paying Alex in corn liquor and bull testes these days? Or perhaps he earned himself a (business-class) seat on the shuttle to Dick Cheney’s moonbase?

    Still, I almost feel kinda bad for him…

  3. where’s that douchebag t.tilton? is he gone already? i don’t know what i’ll do without him telling me what i should think of alex jones.

    • TTilton hasn’t returned since I left the comments about his ties to Blogger. I don’t know if it really was the same guy that ran that website or just someone posing as him, but he left the @911blooger.com email address so that’s who he was trying to claim he was. Would like to hear his take on Di$info though.

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