Holy Crap! My First Fan Art!

by Scott Creighton

David Hazan sent me a picture celebrating American Everyman reaching 6 million page views. I don’t how he did it, but it looks awesome.

Thank you very much, David.

Eight and a half years of doing this and American Everyman get’s it’s first fan art. I’m very touched. This gets it’s own category.

fan art

by David Hazan

16 Responses

  1. Sweet!!!

    Naturally, I was hoping you’d like it when I was making it, but giving it its own page is super nice of you, Scott. I appreciate it.

    You certainly do deserve some fan art. And, who knows, maybe now that you have a special category, it might tempt me and others to produce some more.

    By the way, I can’t say how many exactly, but I can probably take credit for a good chunk of those six million visits over the years :-))

    Thanks again for putting the image up.

  2. That is pretty cool, David. Looks like Rita Katz couldn’t afford you.

  3. David- I know we are on opposite sides, but even I have to admit that’s pretty funny. Six million! you guys just don’t miss a trick. Don’t know when to stop, either, and that has become everyone’s problem,
    not just yours.

    So, how is Rita these days anyway? Hope she looks better than her recent photographs.

    • Help me out here, Mudhole…. Because you really lost me…

      We are on opposite sides of what exactly?

      Who exactly are us guys? And in a related question, who exactly are “you guys”?

      “Stop” where? What is that “problem” you speak of?

      Why the Rita question??? Why this question to me???

      Between Rita and the magic number of six million, you seem to be drawing some flimsy connections here… If you are saying my photoshop skills are the kind that produces images for Rita and the gang, I really resent that… Because, if I were to photochop a fake head, I guarantee you that even Scott couldn’t tell it was fake.

      But most importantly… Hoping that Rita looks better than anything is useless… She’s a frog-faced cunt, she never looked good, she never will look good.

    • You do of course realize the number comes from my page views, right? It’s on that counter right over there on the left.

  4. I keep going back to the post where you claimed you had lost friends in the Boston Marathon Hoax, the Isla Vista Hoax, and the Friday 13th Hoax as well. None in the San Bernardino Hoax, though- I guess San Berdoo ain’t your kind of town.

    • who are you talking to?

    • Ah, I see…

      You know what, mudhole, I’ll give you that one. If someone were saying he knew victims in all these hoaxes, it’d make me go “hmmmmm?” as well… Except that I never said I knew a single victim in any of these hoaxes.

      Allow me to clear up any confusion… Here is a complete list of my “hoax” connections:

      1. A colleague of mine of 9 years, and now a good friend, is from Boston. And she is real. Her cousin and the cousin’s husband lost a foot each that day. I do not know these people myself, and have never seen their feet before or after the bombing. My colleague, who has never been close with this cousin, has not seen her foot (or feet) since the bombing either. But, upon my insistence, she has reconfirmed the news through the family grapevine.

      2. My older sister lives in Southern California, and both her daughters go to UC Santa Barbara. Roger (or a pretend-Roger) had run over a bicycle and crashed his car into another car… Or something like that. This happened right outside one of my nieces’ 2nd floor window. She was at home, but too scared to look out the window. That is the extent of my isla vista connection.

      3. My first roommate in New York, one of my best friends, a Frenchman, who moved back to France after 20 years, told me that someone he had met quite a few times was killed at Bataclan. He’s also the one who told me that there was an extraordinary amount of military activity in Paris on the afternoon of the 13th. I had been chewing on his ear about all the drills during all these events, and when it came out that there was a drill in Paris as well, the guy who used to make fun of me as a conspiracy theorist finally freaked out and started following the deception. So, there you go… Now, the same person who thinks it was a hoax also knows someone who died in the hoax. Makes your brain hurt, eh?

      4. A candlelit vigil was held in my neighborhood church on the Sunday after the Paris attacks. I went to check it out and ran into a French family from down the block. After some solemn salutations, I felt obliged to ask if all their loved ones are safe. And he told me that a “very good friend” of his was killed at Bataclan. Yes, I also went “WTF?” to myself… Yes, i do live in a cosmopolitan big city, and I do know a bunch of French people, but not so many to have 2 Bataclan victims in my immediate circle… It wasn’t like thousands were dead at Bataclan… What are the chances, right? I don’t know… But, nonetheless, there it is… It happened. Make of it what you will.

      5. In the interest of full disclosure, I should also mention that I once sat across the table from a lady, who was a little spaced out because of the anti depressants she was taking, whose husband was killed in the north tower. Also, I retouched an image of the First Lady a few years back, and, around the same period when, as you know, Miriam Carey was shot dead after trying to smuggle her baby daughter into the White House.

      6. But here is the really interesting part of my story: One day, while I am retouching some chopped heads at SITE headquarters, Rita comes in and says “hey, got a great f’n idea… you know that creighton guy’s site you’ve been watching for me all these years… His site is not Jewish enough… So, here’s what we are gonna do… I’m gonna tell my IT guys to pump up this creighton’s web hits quickly and get it up to 6 million… He’ll be so proud and happy that he will announce it to everyone… Then, you send him some fan art that has the words 6 million on it… Get it? SIX MILLION??!!!” she said with a sinister smile… Then she added “the magic number will trigger a holocaust connection in some prejudiced reader’s mind, and just when people are going ’oh, cute, a vintage McDonald’s photo that has AE on it’, that person will leave some super idiotic comments on the page and ruin the fuckin’ day… It’s gonna be great!!!” I’ve gotta say, her plan worked perfectly. Boy is she smart!!! As she was leaving the room to go take a call from Newt, I noticed she was looking hot… I said “you know, you look so much better than your recent photos.” She said thank you, and asked me if I knew anyone in San Bernardino. I replied “nah, that ain’t my kinda town”.

      So, there you have it, you mudhole!!! You were actually correct about everything you so underhandedly implied in your brief and toxic comments. Thank you for helping me come clean. I owe you one.

      Scott, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me?

      • ah no you don’t. I’m not getting dragged into this one. Not for 6 million bucks (which, by the way, just happens to be my sellout price if anyone is interested)

      • Lost a foot in the Boston ‘bombing’, eh? If anyone wants to know what the ‘bomb’ in Boston was, just google ‘Sawdust Cannon’. A 1:13 video will pop up- you’ll notice the firing signature is identical to the ‘bomb’
        in Boston. You are now at Youtube- type in ‘Strategic Operations Business Card’- you’ll see the FX guys who did Boston at work.

        Mort au Bataclan- quel horreur! Take one look at the Bataclan ‘death
        photo’. No band instruments, no sound equipment, no cops, no forensics guys, no coroner or morgue attendants, no coats, jackets or purses on the seats -totally fake.

        Isla Vista- Bianca de Koch – SHOT FIVE TIMES and didn’t even break a nail! That is one tough broad.

        • I think we are going in circles.

          Let me ask you this then in an effort to try to understand you better…

          In all of the incidents you are carrying on about, and sandy hook (not my kinda town either) and all of the other staged hoaxes, do you believe that the hoaxers killed the patsies at the end, or, in your opinion, is that part a hoax too?

          Is Tamerlan still alive? The jabronis in Paris, are they still alive? In your version of these hoaxes, are there any dead bodies at all? Does anyone actually get hurt. Or, do you feel it is this one huge dog and pony show where everything is fake?

  5. Hi Scott. I tried posting a reply to mudhole. Didn’t go through. Can you please have a look and see if you can resurrect it. Thx.

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