Breaking News: ISIS™ Terrorist Attacks French Teacher! Oh wait… he made it up…

by Scott Creighton

This morning I read a brief story about how some ISIS™ terrorist attacked a pre-school teacher in France, cutting his throat and screaming “This is Daesh, this is a warning.!”

Supposedly the guy wearing gloves, a hat and a mask was able to escape and cops were looking for him.

I thought “Well, lookie there. Now they are going after public education in France.”

Turns out… I guess they really are.

“According to one judiciary official, the assailant slashed at the teacher’s neck and said the act was a signal from the Islamic State group, also referred to in France by the name Daesh.

This is Daesh, it’s a warning,” the attacker told his victim, the official said, adding the victim’s life was apparently not in danger.

In a recent French-language publication, the Islamic State group, which claimed responsibility for the deadly Paris attacks of Nov. 13, denounced France’s state school system and urged readers to kill its teachers because they promoted what it called the evils of secular learning, music and drawing.” New York Post

Apparently, ISIS™ only likes privatized for-profit school systems and really hates those “state schools” because they give kids classes in things like music and art. You know. Well rounded educations.

Turns out, the whole thing was a fraud. For that matter, which ISIS™ story wasn’t?

The French authorities said on Monday that a teacher who claimed to have been stabbed with scissors and a box cutter at a preschool near Paris had fabricated the story.

A police official in Aubervilliers confirmed that the teacher, who has not been identified, admitted to having invented the assault at the Jean Perrin preschool in Aubervilliers, a northern suburb of Paris.

It “was a fake attempt, done so that he could have himself transferred” to another job, the official said, speaking on the condition of anonymity because he was not allowed to speak to reporters about the episode. New York Times

Yet another fake ISIS™ story. Not really breaking news is it?

I suppose the lesson here is that anyone can make up an ISIS™ story these days for practically any reason.

  • Don’t want to go to work? Call in ISIS™.
  • Want out of your lease? ISIS™ made you leave.
  • Forgot your wife’s birthday? You’ve been brainwashed by ISIS™.

See how that works? It’s perfect, timely and who dares question any evil ISIS™ shenanigans these days?

Now that I think about it…

THE FUTURE

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One Response

  1. I am literally laughing out loud over here!

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