The Extremely Odd Paris Attacks Videos from the Cafe

by Scott Creighton

OK. This is strange.

So I finally got around to watching the video that surfaced a couple days ago purporting to show a cafe in Paris that was attacked by some white guy in a baseball cap who apparently can’t hit the broadside of a barn from the inside with an AK.

Yes, he stands over two women and fails to shoot them. That is true. And many claim that’s because his gun jammed, though he doesn’t react to it like you would expect if his gun jammed. He just points the gun at them and turns and heads back to his car where he makes a speedy escape (and of course, the French police never chase them or catch up to them)

So yeah, he didn’t shoot those two women, but I can’t see why that is shocking to anyone considering he didn’t actually shoot anyone in the video from what I can tell.

There is even someone outside standing next to a light-pole or something (you can see em through the door when it’s opened) and the “terrorist” just runs right past em.

The people outside the cafe don’t get shot. The two women on the ground when his gun “jammed” didn’t get shot. The people inside the place didn’t get shot. No one got shot.

And these are the same guys who killed 18 at one location just a few minutes before this?

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Behold! The ISIS™ Schweppes Bomb of Doom!

by Scott Creighton

This is getting laughable. Ridiculous even. Stupid to the point of brain death. Moronic to the point of forgetting to breathe.

First of all, ISIS™ has a nice, slick magazine full of all sorts of colorful images, ads and advice to the up-and-coming young professional terrorists out there. It’s called Dabiq and on the cover of this months publication it says ‘JUST TERROR”… in English of course.

1-ISIS-dabiq-magazine

Really? “Just terror”? Really? How about “Got Terror?”? Or “Terror. Just Do It!”? “Just terror”? I hope some mall store sues them.

Ok. Moving on.

In this month’s edition, the publishers at Dabiq have published an article in which they explain how they blew up Metrojet Flight 9268. They say at first they planned on targeting one of the NATO “coalition of the willing” members, but for some unknown reason, decided to shift gears and blow up a Russian jet instead. That is a nice touch. Brings it back home to the Western audiences I suppose.

“After resolving to bring down a plane belonging to a nation in the American-led Western coalition against ISIS, the target was changed to a Russian plane”.

No explanation as too why they changed targets is offered.

They claim they did it with this: the Schweppes Bomb of Doom.

Yes, that is a metal can with a metal detonator and a toggle switch made of metal components. ISIS™ says they “smuggled it onto the plane”

This is what we are scared of? This is what we are at war with? We have to spend trillions of dollars fighting this? Are you kidding? It’s a can from recycle bin in the green-room at some photography studio. Is this a joke?

Unfortunately, it’s not a joke or at least, the MSM isn’t taking it as one. They are all over this “breaking news” from this credible source, ISIS™

(I wonder how many dimwits are out there pouring their Ginger Ale down the drain right now. I’m guessing a lot.)

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