Comedy of Errors – What a Difference 90 Seconds Can Make

by Scott Creighton

UPDATE: Found the glasses so I’m not as blind as a bat anymore and it sounds like, to my untrained ear, that it blew that timing belt I installed a couple months ago. Joy oh joy. Here I go again. Maybe a bus pass…


I’ll be away from the computer for a bit today. I have to try to assess the damage.

Today’s short blog entry just goes to show you should appreciate what you have while you have it.

Yesterday, I was headed home getting off 275 about two miles from my home when my car simply died at the end of the off ramp. Wouldn’t start back up, sounds like the head gasket is blown… again.

Anyway, rather than just sitting there making calls on my cell phone as most people do when their cars die, I get out, pissed off, and try to push it into the turn lane so I can park it off the road, out of the way, in a parking lot 300 yards down the street.

That was fucking stupid.

As I was shoving it and steering from the left side of the car, I ran over my own right foot with the rear wheel. As I winced in pain (and more anger) I fell over to the side, but my foot remained under the tire. As I went down kinda in slow motion, I twisted my knee pretty badly. Apparently all of this comic chaos dislodged by phone and glasses, leaving them on the road as I would later discover.

Eager to just get it done, in pain now and therefore even more angry, I continued pushing the car knowing people were lining up behind me tying to turn onto Busch Blvd.

A gracious individual stopped ahead of me and ran back to help me push and a few moments after that someone behind me beeped his horn, offering to push with his car so I jumped in, thanked the guy who was helping push manually, and allowed the truck behind me to push my crippled little Eclipse the remainder of the distance to the parking lot.

Once I made the turn and waved “thanks” to the man in the truck, I then got out and pushed it further into the lot out of the way of incoming traffic.

That’s when I realized my phone and glasses were gone and went back to find the phone in pieces on the road. Someone ran it over.

I went back to check too see if I could do anything for the car but it appears to be either a blown motor or head gasket again… I have to go out now to figure it out.

So there I was, in the course of 90 seconds I went from heading home happy I had finally fixed my little vehicle (it took me two months) to being stranded with no phone, half blind and lame having to walk home leaving the car where it fell.

With the help of Jan10 and my neighbor, Eclipsius is now once again in my driveway and I am once again bound to it.

I’m hobbling around the house with my swollen black, blue and red big toe and in a few minutes, I am heading out there to diagnose the damage once again.

It just goes to show how quickly it can all go away, right?

But I have lots to be thankful for in spite of all of this.

I have still have one good leg (the one filled with DVTs) and an apartment in which I can sit back and lick my wounds.

I have the seemingly tireless support of Jan10 who, it would seem, is just as bound to the POS me as I am to that POS Eclipse. What her great sin was, only the gods know.

I have neighbors (at least one) who will come to my aid at times of distress.

I have my furry family (who were hiding most of the night during all of this, poor things) and who don’t give a rat’s ass if drive around or not, just so long as their food dishes aren’t empty.

And I have you guys (and apparently a whole slew of new trolls to play with) and this website which keep me sane.

So, yeah, it could be a lot worse.

I guess if there is a moral to this story aside from “don’t get out of the fucking car, just call a tow company”… it would be you never can tell what’s literally around the next corner. And though I don’t do “doom porn” like so many websites, I have too say it’s looking a little suspect, our futures here in the states. So do what you can to make preparations for any eventuality: get yourself a stable little vehicle and a good mechanic: if you get out to push, for God’s sake, watch your damn feet and leave your glasses and your phone inside: and always try to remember… it’s just stuff. It comes, it goes. Sometimes in a flash.

And oh yeah, did I mention… screw the drivers behind you… “don’t get out of the fucking car, just call a tow company”

So now I’m hobbling off to pop the hood and see what joys await me under there. You guys have fun playing “whack a troll” for me. I’ll check back in a little later.

5 Responses

  1. God bless you, Scott. All you can do is roll with it.

  2. Did you have to call a toe-truck?

    • At least he didn’t succeed in completely running himself over, else they would have had to call for one of those special flatbed toe-trucks.

      We now return you to our regular programming, looking for Buster Krabb:

      BUSTER CRABB – the inspiration for James Bond – Cold War Mystery

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