CTHULHU 2016! Cus Why the F#ck Not?

Screw that lesser of two evils bullshit!

Let’s get right down to it and elect the unadulterated, undiluted pure distilled essence of the Great American One-Party, Business-Party, Free-Market Worshiping, Ayn Randian Defense of Selfishness ultimate hero, CTHULHU!

I mean, shit. If we’re going to do this thing, let’s do it for real. Take the alcoholics at their word:

half measures mean NOTHING!

Let’s stop half-steppin with these pretenders and vote for the REAL DEAL!

Jeb Bush? Killary Clinton? The Donald? Rand Paul? Paul Ryan?

Screw those white-knuckling, 12 steppin tourists!

Let’s CUT OUT THE MIDDLE MAN AND GO STRAIGHT FOR THE PURE GLASS, BITCHES!

CTHULHU 2016!!!!

(CUS YOU GET THE GOVERNMENT YOU DESERVE)

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12 Responses

  1. Yes I too support the Dreaded One and carry the paraphernalia of the Master on Car and person. I htin we have a good chance too i as long as Yog Sottoth does not run on a ticket with Trump

    • ah, ye of little faith. Question not what Cthulhu can do for you, question only how much you can do for Cthulhu before you are all used up and tossed on the scrap heap like so many Malaysian fishing slaves!

      (that’s a hell of a campaign slogan, don’t ya think?)

  2. OK, I had to look up this creature…… and it is dreadful…. maybe as skilled as Bush or our current president?
    http://lovecraft.wikia.com/wiki/Cthulhu

    • dreadful?!? “as skilled as BUSH”!?!???

      How dare thee!

      Repent! Repent oh you blasphemer! Repent or I’ll tellin Cthulhu on you. After all he says, “if you see something, say something” and you know he means it. His googily eyes are working with Google right now to google your comments so you better REPENT!

      (honestly mom, you should repent. He’s really not a nice guy)

  3. Probably won’t make any difference, maybe cut costs on elections?

    • Elections? What elections? Cthulhu don’t need no stinking elections! The moment he steps forward and declares, that’s it. All these other wannabes will bow out in utter sycophantic reverence to their one true God. he’ll still take money of course. All of it in fact. With the Trickle Up theory of economics the buck stops at the top of the pyramid and in this culture, their culture, that final block of stone set by slaves so many eons ago is Cthulhu. We must all fight for the blessed soggy crumbs that drop from his many tentacled mouth.

      • That’s exactly the point, we save the cost for the no longer existing election. But agreed, won’t be a pretty sight.

  4. Eh … It’s as good as any other religious belief. Why not? Cthulhu the great anointed one. Bow down and be afeared. What is terrible must be benevolent if you grovel and ruin yourself enough.

  5. I’m eagerly awaiting the many Cthulhu monuments and statues sure to fill our public spaces, both in tribute to his tentacled holiness and as a demonstration of America’s deep devotion to freedom of religion.

  6. It’s going from the greatest (clown&freak) show on earth to outright Circus McGurkus.
    Or the old Roman Circus Maximus.

    http://radaronline.com/celebrity-news/hillary-clinton-hacked-emails-sale/
    (NOTE that spiffy orange jumpsuit she’s shown wearing.)
    SEP3
    Just as email-gate looked to be winding down, RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned a person claiming to be a computer specialist has come forward with the stunning news that 32,000 emails from Hillary Clinton‘s private email account are up for sale. The price tag — a whopping $500,000

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